Monday 27 August 2007

Les Bonnes Resultats

Precisely a year (give or take a few days) after gaining my first two GCSEs in French and Mathematics at Grade A* (up yours, A-grade suckers), the time has finally come around again to take collect the results of the remaining 8 GCSE results, the exams of which I took this summer. To hear (see surely?) my report on the exams themselves, see Hell on Paper.

Unfortunately, gaining a qualification in French a year before most other would-be continentals, all traces of the French language have all but escaped me. It took me about 4 minutes to come up with the title of this post, and I still think it's spelled wrong.

My maths knowledge has still remained inside my hollow head. Doing an Additional Maths course over the past academic year has kept it fresh as a tender spring shoot, and obviously, due to the A-level style rigors of the Add Math course, it has been topped up and refined. Out with the indices, in with the binomials. Shit, I think you need the first to do the later.

Perhaps that would explain why I only got a B in Additional Maths. Whoop! Joy! General frolicking noises!

Our good old greasy-haired friend Robin was literally jumping for joy at his 'C' grade pass in History

Seriously! A grade 'B' in Add Maths is the best thing to me since inventing sliced bread. I was seriously thinking that I had failed and would be lucky to scrape a grade 'C' pass. If I managed to get this kind of grade from stumbling blindly through the paper and just hoping integration would suffice each time, everyone else must have just written fucking poetry on their papers!

As well as this subsidiary qualification, I also took Short Course Citizenship. Yeah, I know what you're doing, something along the lines of snorting hysterically into your left arm. If you are using your right, switch now please. Well, I managed to manage another A* in this as well. Wasn't really expecting anything less however; I secured full marks on the first draught of my coursework which was based on picking up other people's crap in a damp park each month.

And now we move to the serious stuff, the real deal, the foundations of my future success (failures?). In order of randomness, actually make that alphabetical, these are my results:

BIOLOGY: A* (a*)

BUSINESS STUDIES: A* (a*)

CHEMISTRY: A* (a*)

ENGLISH LANGUAGE: A* (a*)

ENGLISH LITERATURE: A* (a*)

GEOGRAPHY: A* (a*)

ICT: A* (a*)

PHYSICS: A* (a*)

Whoop! Joy! Specially elated frolicking noises! An 'effing clean sweep, royal flush, full monty, bag of bananas, 24 carat gold, whitewash, total obliteration, real McCoy, these are startin' not to make sense anymore! But I don't really care 'cos I'm damn bloody clevererer than a lot of wannabe smart ass kids these days. Breath.


So that concludes my compulsory education at the sorry establishment that is the place that I go to school at which I don't wish to reveal for security purposes. More diligent readers will probably be aware of all the details of my life that I have accidentally let slip over the past year of blogging. Good for you, I say.

And now, the next chapter of Adrian Torquer: the Frappuchino Years will chronicle my college education at, darn it, the same damn place I have been going to for the past five years. It may have the administrational and organisational abilities of a small blind rodent, but the A-level results are pretty darn decent.

11 comments:

The Usual Stuff said...

From what I've heard about you, my dear, the "administrational and organisational abilities of a small blind rodent", might as well stand for a potential Carlos Slim.
Congratulations on your grades. I'm still surprised teenagers continue worrying about these issues. In my country, nowadays, nobody gives a damn on what they get, no matter how much the goverment states how worried they are about it.
How are you gonna celebrate?

violet said...

God, what a set of results! Well done.What are you gonna do with all that brain then?

I got screwed over for my GCSEs, bloody B in bloody religious studies because I argued with the notion of organised religion in general and Christianity in particular in my coursework rather than just parroting the parables as we were supposed to. Plus a B in physics that dragged down my entire double sciences grade. Not that I'm still bitter almost ten years later or anything.

Torquer said...

Usual Stuff: I am going to celebrate by studying hard for my A-levels. That's after I've got stoned, pissed and laid in one hell of a post exam party! Nah, quiet night in for me.

Violet: Brain?? You mean the fresh air between my ears? To me grey matter spells concrete.

Crashdummie said...

and you were telling me to "Be concise!" ... hehehe

congrats mate! wheres the celebration party at?

Torquer said...

The celebration party will be at your's this Friday night: make sure you stock up on cheap booze and invite some hot chicks.

All bloggers invited!

I see what you mean about the conciseness thing: it is very easy to get carried away some times. Take for instance when...no stop.

The Usual Stuff said...

Cheap Booze? What do you prefer:
Corona, Victoria, Indio or Estrella? In fact, the "Modelo" factory is 3 blocks away from my place. We can get a barrel if you want!!

Torquer said...

Are you listing brands of cheap beer or the names of some hot chicks? Either will do me fine, Usual Stuff.

The Usual Stuff said...

Mmmm. I never considered it that way... In reality, they're cheap brands, but I can get some hot chicks too! =D

Jingo said...

Surely I'd be the first to be informed if Torquer was planning a party. After all, I'm the only friend he's got.

But anyway, good results. Not as good as mine obviously so you'll just have to live in my shadow for another year.

Torquer said...

A very small shadow indeed Jingo: in the shape of a small letter 'B'. Still, as Peter would say, I did better than you in Additional Maths because you tried much, much harder but only got a slightly better grade.

I'm not inviting you anyway, you're the death of the party.

sciurine said...

sorry for not commenting these few weeks, but wow, great results there! nothing to worry about afterall =)